Is that what you do? Good Will Hunting: Bar Scene

Me: Are we gonna have a problem here?

USC Fan: No, no, no, no! There's no problem here. I was just hoping
you might give me some insight into the evolution of the USC
domination over the fighting Irish. My contention is that our record
against you, especially in the last 100 years, could be most aptly
described as domination.

Me: Of course that's your contention. You're a fair-weather
band-wagon USC fan; you just got finished reading some newspaper
interview, Pete Carroll probably. You're gonna be convinced of that
'till next week when you get to South Bend. Then you're going to be
talking about how the reputation of Notre Dame is tarnished and how
they sold out back in 2004.

That's gonna last until next year; you're gonna be in here
regurgitating Alan Grant, talkin' about, you know, the Ty Willingham
incident and his new book "How To Lose Consistently and Still make a
zillion dollars"

USC Fan: Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Ty drastically
underestimates the impact of social -

Me: "Ty drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions
predicated upon winning, especially winning with inherited players"?
You got that from Weis "Putting the Nasty back in Dynasty," page 98,
right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole
thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or
do you, is that your thing, you come into a bar, read some obscure
passage and then pretend - you pawn it off as your own, as your own
idea just to impress some girls, embarrass my alma mater?

USC Fan: ...looks down in shame...

Me: See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years you're
gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're going to come
up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don't do
that and two, you spent 37 grand on an education you could have got at
ND for 35 grand in charges on your student ID.

USC Fan: Yeah, but we do have back to back championships. And you'll
be servin' my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to the Heisman
ceremony.

Me: Please...for your own good...Dont being up champonships and
Heismans unless you want to be statistically oblitterated. But I
mean, if you have a problem with that, I mean, we could just step
outside - we could figure it out.

SC Fan: No, man, there's no problem. It's cool.

Me: It's cool?

SC Fan: Yeah.

Me: Cool.

Go Irish
- The Trojan Horse