Arse Braveheart: Final Battle Rally Speech

.... I can see it now. It's so clear..... it's Saturday. Charlie's team is on the field for warm-ups and out come the "men" of Troy. Charlie's team, having visions of last year, turns to the locker room and starts to walk away.

Charlie: [Yelling at his team] And if this is your home field, why do you leave now?!

Several Players: We didn't come here to get embarassed.

Another Player: [Simultaneously] Home, the men of Troy are too many!

Charlie: Sons of Notre Dame! I am Charlie Weis.

Second Player: Charlie Weis is seven feet tall!

Charlie Weis: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume Poodle Pete with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.
[Football Team laughs]

Charlie Weis: I AM Charlie Weis! And I see a whole army of my fellow Domers, here, in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as men free from the bondage of Tyrone, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?

Soldier: Against that? No, we'll run, and we'll hope for a chance Dec. 17-day bowl.

Charlie: Aye, fight and you may lose, run, and you're BCS chances will live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our NC hopes, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!
[Team cheers]

What follows is not easily describable. It is best simply to say that there is blood, there is goring, there is disembowelment, and there is screaming. Haridos are ruffled, "619" tattoes are torn from the cheeks of opposing players, and the sleeves from long-sleeve t-shirts underneath collared polo shirts are ripped off the arms of any coaches... and this all occurs to the following musical (and likely Academy-award winning) score... (see attached mp3)


Godspeed,