The Ghost of Dave Thomas Smiles on the Irish

The 21st century has seen the loss of many great heroes. Ronald Reagan, Pope John Paul II, Joe Paterno (Edit: Apparently Paterno is still alive and contrary to popular opinion is not part of another Weekend at Bernie's sequel). However, often overlooked among these greats is the greatest entrepreneur of our day. Without this man the world would never have known the sweet taste of a triple stack, or the permeating joy that comes from ordering from the 99¢ menu. Yes, of course I am talking about square hamburger pioneer, frostee inventor, and all around American Hero, Dave Thomas. We all know that Dave Thomas ranks with Lincoln and Washington in the annals of historic americans and that he is about to be canonized by Pope Benedict for the numerous miracles he has facilitated. But what does this have to do with Notre Dame football? Everything!
It is a little known fact that St. Dave was a huge Notre Dame fan. Yes, it is true that Wendy's was named after his daughter. But just why did he decide to name her Wendy? The answer is staring you in the face . . . weNDys. In fact, First and Gold has obtained a draft of Dave's original Wendy's logo.

This design was rejected ultimately reject. Finding himself in the middle of Buckeye country St. Dave, possessor of infinite business sense, decided to use the traditional logo we know and love today. However, this is incontrovertible evidence (Michigan fans should know all about this) that history's greatest restauranteur loved the Irish. This, in and of itself, is not earth shattering. Millions of people the world over love the Irish. But consider this: Since Dave's death on Jan. 6, 2002 the Irish have lost three straight times at the hands of the hated trojans. Why would St. Dave, a known Irish lover and miracle worker, let such a thing happen? Because Dave hates Tyrone Willingham. Not because Tyrone is black (St. Dave loves all of God's creation equally) but because anybody who has ever looked at Tyrone knows that his emaciated frame has never tasted heaven on a bun. That is why it was so necessary to bring in a new sheriff. But, not just any sheriff but Charlie Weis. Why was Charlie chosen? His football acumen? His four super bowl rings? No. Charlie was hired because anybody who has ever looked at the man knows that he enjoys a Big Bacon classic or twenty. Yes, Dave is smiling up there knowing that the Irish are in good hands. In fact, the breakout season of our Quarterback Brady Quinn is directly attributable to Dave Thomas. It is no small coincidence that Brady's home town of Dublin, OH is the HEADQUARTERS OF WENDY'S. Yes, St. Dave is up there watching and he is going to guarantee an Irish victory on Saturday. Dave Thomas and Notre Dame: A return to hamburglory.

-Double D